Identity

I’m annoyed with myself. I got a new job recently. This is not the reason why I am annoyed with myself. I’m actually really pleased about that. No, what I’m annoyed with myself about is the fact that I took out my ear piercing for the interviews.

Now I know that reading that last sentence may seem ludicrous, that I’m annoyed with myself over something so trivial, but to me it’s a little bigger than that. You see, I really wanted to land this job. It’s a massive opportunity, which I’m extremely grateful for landing. Truth be told, I couldn’t afford to not get this job having witnessed my freelancing life crashing before me. So, in order to cast a good impression of myself I felt compelled to bow to the type of individual my prospective employers would be looking for, i.e. a man without an ear piercing. Still sounds ludicrous? I’ll continue.

When I was invited for an interview for an editor position of a new magazine with a focus on the world’s emerging superpowers I was thrilled. This was big. But then I began to worry myself. The role was serious. The location is in a really posh part of London. I’m not posh. I’m not even serious most of the time. If I was to turn up for my interview with my piercing still in, would they cast judgements on my appearance? Would they fret that I couldn’t possibly represent the magazine when meeting and interviewing some of the prospective individuals who they want featured in the publication because said individuals would cast judgements on my appearance, and therefore cast judgements on the authenticity of the magazine?

Am I worrying over something that doesn’t exist?

Or is this really the sad truth of the world we live in?

Would they care if I were to turn up to the office with my piercing in tomorrow?

Would they even notice?

I got my ear pierced when I was teenager. Now I’m 28, I still don’t regret it. I still wear it. Bottom line is though I removed a part of my identity in order to satisfy the potential stereotype of another person(s). This to me seems really wrong and this is why I am annoyed with myself.

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